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The Blogazine For People Who Want It Darker.


Forever? Not really.

Forever? Not really.

Relationships come and go, friends last forever–we all have heard or said that sentence before. Certainly, not all of us need a partner in order to be fulfilled and happy. But isn’t this saying somewhat strange? It suggests: Relationships are more fleeting and worth less than friendships. 

After all, many friendships–or what some people regards as such–are equally unsteady. Loose bonds, no strings attached, no ball and chain, no exclusivity, no Valentine’s presents, no family reunions. And though we pretend that our friendships are holy, we do not put in the effort they might require. Hey, real friends take us for who we are, unconditionally. Don’t they?

Our friends allow us to let down our guard and our hair. We can be who we truly are and we expect acceptance that is absolute in return. Without shame, without consequence, without pressure, without self-doubt. And without the fear of being left.

Yet, friendships can break apart just as much as relationships. Especially, if we take our friends for granted. Whereas relationships often end dramatically and with heartache, friendships slowly fade away, warm up and cool down again — in line with the respective stages and circumstances of our lives.

Childhood friendships that last a lifetime have become a rare exception just as long-term relationships have. Forever? Not really. We are much too busy chasing butterflies in our stomachs. But that’s another story. Or maybe it isn’t? Because if we stop trying to preserve being in love forever,  we might realize that in a relationship, friendship is most important. 

Instead, we surrounding ourselves with as many friends as possible. Quantity over quality. Shouldn’t it be the other way around, though? Many psychologists are convinced that we are capable of having deep friendships with three people max. Accordingly, we should pick our friends with the same caution and care than our life partner. Today more than ever and with people increasingly substituting relationships with friendships, friends have become equally elementary.

Especially, since ours is the age of being single: In many nations around the world the number of people living alone is unprecedented … and counting, particularly in rural areas. Friends grant the emotional support they would otherwise receive from their spouses. Yet, that increases the risk of being hurt and impairs our ability to evaluate our friendships objectively. 

Out of self-defense or vanity we dismiss what is, but mustn‘t be: About half of our friendships are not consensual, as researchers of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology and the University of Tel Aviv have found out. In other words, every other of our alleged friends probably does not consider himself or herself to our friend. 

But who voluntarily admits such a thing to oneself? Therefore, we should impose the same standards in our friendships that we do in our relationships: How we treat each other is more important than how much we like each other.  

friendships, love, relationships, thoughts


AS LONG AS IT’S BLACK is a blogazine for those who find inspiration, pleasure and beauty in darkness. Who search for it in music, art, fashion, literature, places and other people. Who pay attention to obscure details and dare to take a deeper look. Who enjoy being different, but find comfort in knowing that they are not alone. AS LONG AS IT’S BLACK is a mindset, a cross-referencer and a common denominator – beyond cliché and niche, genre and gender, limits and boundaries. It unites and invites those who share a passion for everything AS LONG AS IT’S BLACK.

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AS LONG AS IT’S BLACK was founded by Anja Delastik. While studying at university, she started writing for a goth music magazine and was appointed editor after completing her master in literature and art. Later, she began working for various mainstream lifestyle magazines and eventually was named editor of German Cosmopolitan. Today, she works as a freelance creative consultant, author and journalist for different publications – and has just curated her first group exhibition for a contemporary art gallery.

Copyright 2019 Anja Delastik | Technical realization by Andersen Webworks